Adjusting to a new normal...choose boundaries within your environment to support you.

Social distancing is a boundary meant to slow the transmission of the novel coronavirus. It is a choice we can make for the greater good; and people are rising to the occasion. But with this boundary comes the need to adapt in new and uncomfortable ways.

The reality of this is setting in quickly. Texts, and social media, and conversations with clients have made this clear. The surreal feelings of the past weeks are dissipating and being replaced with a need for a sense of control. I woke in the middle of the night thinking about this, jotted down a few notes, and went back to sleep. So now, hours later, I am attempting to capture an idea that was clear in my lucid dream state last night but much foggier now.

One of the last things I did before bed was listen to a short audio posted by a colleague. Her comments were in a context meant to support parents with students at home. I fell asleep thinking about her suggestion to consider a physical space dedicated for virtual classwork and a space for after school study and downtime thus assigning separate, physical boundaries designed for each task. Thank you to Leslie Josel for inspiring this post.

Whether you are an introvert more comfortable at home in a quiet environment or an extrovert who thrives in a more social, energetic atmosphere, the choices of where and who we spend our time with has shifted abruptly. Finding our bearings for even the simplest of tasks without familiar supports and structure is eliciting angst and anxiety for most of us.

We are all figuring out how to create an environment that supports this new normal not of our choosing. And, therein lies the thorn.

We cannot control everything. We never could. But right now, feeling vulnerable and uncertain weighs heavily upon us. I am an introvert, but even I find this level of quietude unsettling. My goal today is to consider what is within my control and make a few, small changes; I need my home environment to support me. These changes cost nothing other than time and a conversation with my daughter because this environment needs to support her too. She attends a local university, but now finds herself at home in virtual classrooms. Perhaps you will find my new awareness a catalyst for making your own small changes and adjust boundaries within your control.

For me, feeling centered and grounded requires a sense of order. I ease into the day by making my bed, starting a load of laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and reviewing my working task list for the day. These simple steps have been a part of my morning routine for a long time. Keeping counters clean, clear, and ready for the next meal prep has also been routine. But doing it soon after a meal feels more important than ever, not just for the visual calm, but for the added element of safety. We have become more mindful of what we are touching and where it has been.

This new vigilance further inspired me to consider keeping the kitchen and eating spaces tech free. Daily cleaning of cell phones and computer keyboards is a part of our new normal; but if there is anywhere in our homes that germs will hide, it is on the items we touch the most often. I don’t know about you, but my cell phone has rarely been too far away from me…until now. This new habit may take several attempts before it becomes easy. But I believe it will be worth the effort and may have long term benefits yet to be discovered.

Setting a few physical boundaries might be just what any of us need to feel more productive and in control of our choices. It occurs to me that I might be more motivated to finish something before leaving my workspace if I choose to leave my tech devices there, in place, when I leave the room.

Finishing a work task may take less time than washing my hands a few extra times if I run downstairs where I will undoubtedly be distracted by the laundry that needs to move into the dryer, and the puzzle waiting for me on the table, and the temptation to snack. Finishing a task before rewarding myself with a few disconnected minutes might be just the reset I need. I know my chapped hands will thank me.

The last change for today is the commitment to go outside and connect with nature daily. There are open, empty sidewalks in my neighborhood, surrounded by trees and native plants. Time outside is good for us body and soul. It may calm the feelings of isolation and help keep cabin fever at bay. Even though we need to give each other six or more feet when passing, it allows us to remember we are part of our communities. I like that.

I expect I will make many adjustments over the next days and weeks and so will you. Be kind to yourselves and be patient with this process of discovery and need for change. And, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me if you feel stuck.

My virtual door is open.

Social Distancing...getting to the heart of the matter

As I write this, I am sitting upstairs, looking at the beautiful sky from my window. The rain has stopped, and my dog is curled up next to me. He’s fast asleep, not a worry in the world other than the massive malignant tumor that presses upon his esophagus if he doesn’t position himself “just right.” This reminds me our time together is limited. And, isn’t that true for all of us, no matter what age, no matter where we live, and especially during this time of uncertainty?

Time and life are precious and finite.

I am mentally processing the events of recent weeks trying to make sense of it all. I typically minimize my time on social media because I prefer face to face, real time connections with people through my work, my studies, and my personal time.

But today, I am a moth to the flame and the more I look, the harder it becomes to look away. I probably spent more time looking at my phone in the past 8 hours than I did the previous three days combined. I will bet I am not the only one to admit this.

I spent the morning gathering a few things as I prepare to mindfully isolate myself as part of the movement to slow the spread of COVID-19. I picked up a few more non-perishable groceries, cat and dog food, and hummingbird nectar. I am prepared to work virtually with my clients and colleagues. And I will focus on what is most important to me and adds a sense of normalcy to my life.

Perhaps you will make a list of what is important to you and let it set your pace for the days ahead.

1. Stay connected to friends and family by phone and FaceTime.

2. Keep self care routines as normal as possible with healthy food, lots of water, bedtime routines, and exercise.

3. Feed the birds and tend my little patio garden.

4. Be creative. I have projects and art supplies just begging for my attention.

5. And, my garage could use a refresh. I know there is more than I need living in there.

6. Binge watch funny movies. Since humor boosts the immune system, it’s win-win.

7. Gratitude. Right now utilities and phone services are fully functional where I live. There are still groceries available, as of yesterday, and our pharmacies are still up and running.

8. Hope and faith in others. I trust that people will come together in spirit but will put a little more physical distance than is comfortable in the short term.

Social distancing will not cure COVID-19. But it just might give the experts the time they need to manage supplies for what is needed during this crisis. I can delay a little while longer for the greater good.

Need help planning & prioritizing in the midst of uncertainty? Contact me to learn for more information.

Safety First, Not Someday...Someday is NOT a day of the week.

Why not today?! In recognition of the American Red Cross Disaster Preparedness month, my thoughts have turned to a subject near and dear to me: Safety First.

As we are experiencing the hottest months of the year in San Diego, I cannot help but remember past wild fires that required rapid evacuation for thousands of people.  Much has been written on the subject of disaster preparedness and there are excellent resources available on the internet. I recently listened to Ricardo Moran of the San Diego Red Cross speak at a local NAPO meeting. He made excellent points regarding the importance of planning and preparedness broken down into three steps which I will share now.

1. Make a plan.

2. Get a kit.

3. Be informed.

Begin by making a plan:

This entails discussion with your family and those living with you of where to meet in case of an emergency (both close to home and further away depending upon the circumstances) and to designate  points of contact in case your are separated. These contacts also give friends and family members a resource to obtain information regarding your safety when phone or internet service are interrupted. It is critical that you write down your plan and review it twice a year. Schedule this as you would any appointment, perhaps the weekend that you change your clocks. Remember to review your plan with your family, review and update your contact information, and to change the batteries in your smoke and carbon monoxide detectors. Keep a copy of the emergency contacts in your purse/wallet, in your car and in your office. Know your escape routes both from your office, home and your neighborhood. Lastly, make a list of the vital information and materials that you want to take with you. In the moment of extreme panic or pressure, you will appreciate having practiced. Having a checklist allows you to stress a little less. Finally, register for reverse 911 calls. In San Diego, use http://www.readysandiego.org/alertsandiego

Get a kit:

Keep the following emergency supplies- food and water (1 gallon /day/person) for three days (evacuation) and for two weeks (home bound), medications, pet food, leashes, and carriers within easy reach, warm blankets, flashlights, first aid kit, batteries, cash in small denominations ($1's and $5's), fire safe with personal documents and identification, battery operated radio, sanitation and personal hygiene items, whistle, change of clothing, can opener, multipurpose tool, insurance information, plastic garbage bags, and entertainment items to occupy restless family members. Your list will vary depending upon what is important to you. I urge you to sit down now and make a list that meets your needs including the location of these items. I pray that you never need to use it.

Be informed:

This begins with knowing your neighbors. Consider a first aid class or CPR. Know your local organizations, such as CERT, and become more involved. Listen to emergency instructions if you are asked to evacuate.

I hope this has been helpful.

For more details and review, please see www.preparesandiego.org