Regrouping...what about the days that fall off the tracks?

We know the value of creating and following habits that keep all of our ducks in a row. My morning routine is usually streamline although to an outside observer might look like I am rushing around doing several unconnected tasks. I'm not. There is actually an order that makes sense for me.

The truth is, I am looking at the big picture as I let the dog outside, feed the cats, start a load of laundry, open the blinds, and put the kettle on to make tea. In the time it takes me to tend my pets and my home, my muscles have warmed up, I have shaken off the morning "sleepies" and I am ready to ask myself what is the best use of my day and ready to begin my plan, which by the way,  is written on the dry erase board on my refrigerator. These days are my Plan A days, and I feel on top of the world.

But what about those days that you over sleep or something unexpected happens that takes priority over everything else? We all have those days and it is okay to allow ourselves a moment of panic, anxiety or temper without judgement. It is also important to get back on the rails as quickly as possible. How this looks will depend upon what works for you.

Something I have found useful in my own life, is to take a look at my scheduled tasks for the day, the ones that are on a timeline. If there is something that can be moved to a later time, I will make those shifts to open up the morning to settle myself and do my soothing morning rituals. And, on those days that this is just not possible, then I move directly to the most important thing. Period!!

Those little things you do to start your day, will get fit in somewhere else. The dog will still adore you, the cats may leave a special present to announce their displeasure, and the laundry may pile up, but at the end of the day, no matter what happens next, you will know you did the most important thing. These end up being some of your highest value days, the ones that define your character, and allow you to practice creative problem solving.

Lastly, expect to have Plan B days.  I am a big believer in setting the bar high and believing in your dreams, so don 't misunderstand me when I say this. It does NOT mean that you are giving up, but rather that you are being flexible and kind to yourself. When we are tired, busy or over-fill our schedules for whatever reason be it the nature of our jobs or over enthusiastic scheduling, or are faced with an unforeseen emergency, there are little things we can do for ourselves ahead of time in anticipation of those inevitable, tightly scheduled days.

This will look different for each of us, so ask yourself, "What do I wish someone else would do for me?" And, then, do it. Do it for yourself. This may seem a strange suggestion, but if you have you ever set something out the night before because you had a few minutes and acted upon this good idea, you know what I am talking about. It could be as simple as counting out your vitamins the night before when you usually set them aside in the morning. Or clearing your desk and setting the mail by the front door with your car keys rather than wait til morning. Then when the phone rings, and you need to rally to Plan B, you will be ready. It is a little gift to yourself and who knows better what you need than YOU?!

Putting Things Away...a place for everything and everything in its place

Put things away after you use them.

Keep things where you use them.

Awesome guidelines. But...what do you do when you don't have the space to put everything away much less room to put things where you actually use them?

Whether you have 800 square feet or 8000 square feet there are rules of thumb that will help you feel more organized and zen in your spaces. And following these golden rules, or let's say "guidelines," the possibilities will grow. Making peace with your things and then moving them where you use them is paramount to finding your happy ending. But it won't happen by magic.

Making peace with your things requires heavy lifting; remove unwanted items, keep only those things that make your heart sing, are truly useful to you or you know you will need in the future.

"Removing things and getting rid of the excess is the first step to finding space for what you DO treasure or need. "

Begin by clearing out the trash, and boxing up the items that you will share with others, be it the friend's borrowed book or an extra toaster you no longer need. There are people out there with less than you and your excess is a blessing to them. Be honest about broken and unusable items. They have served a purpose and now must lay to rest.

You may discover after clearing a row of books, for instance, that you now have space for the stack of references for work. Just be sure that this shelf is near your work table or desk or you may forget that you have these tomes of wisdom. For many of us, "out of sight, out of mind," is a reality, reason enough to keep things where you use them.

After you have cleared out your unwanted items, you may discover that you have enough space to put everything away that has been piling up. Yay, get to it!!

I encourage you to put your things away daily, or better yet as you are finished with them. Spending 10 minutes once or twice a day, helps to manage  your clutter and is much less intimidating than spending hours and weeks less often.

Don't despair if you are not at a point where you can put everything away yet. For most of us, this process of sorting,  purging, and decluttering takes multiple chunks of time because it is both physically and emotionally exhausting. Take breaks and stop to appreciate what you have already accomplished rather than focusing solely on what is yet to be done. And then plan when you will continue working.

If you have homeless stacks of truly usable, necessary items, you may need to add organizing furniture pieces. Be sure to take measurements and be honest about your budget. If having a nice desk is not a priority but you need a place to put your work papers at the end of the day or a place for your computer or printer, consider a folding table and chair. Costco sells both at a very reasonable cost. A comfortable, ergonomic chair is a high priority if you spend hours each day sitting at a desk.

A few of my favorite places for finding organizing pieces are Staples, The Container Store, and local salvage and antique stores. You will find shelving units, and stacking carts and boxes and bins in every style, size and color.

When my children were young, I purchased Elfa Units for their toys for functional and efficient use of space. At the time it felt like extravagant spending but those carts have been used for years and for different purposes as my family has grown. They have been worth their weight in gold!

Toys and outgrown treasure...a topic for another day! Meanwhile...forge on!!

New Year's Resolutions...How resolving to create and cultivate a great year puts the wheels in motion

Resolving to create and cultivate a great year may feel beyond your control; yet it is a practical, smart goal. Aren't we the most excited and engaged in work and play that is important to us and that is interesting to us? Don't we feel the most pride and greatest sense of accomplishment and self worth when we have worked through challenging obstacles and opportunities that scare the hell out of us?

I find that the first step toward making a change or opening the door to a new opportunity is in writing it down. Simple, right?! We have been encouraged time and time again to make lists. Why is this so powerful? Could it be the laws of momentum?

To set the wheels in motion, begin with a pen and piece of paper. It is that simple. Now...make a list of all the unconnected, random ideas and thoughts for your future. Set no bounds or limitations upon time or practicality or finances or physical limitations. Make the list long...100 things, tasks, projects, dreams. There will be time to break down your list into measurable tasks to add to your calendar later. What is important in the beginning is to release your desires out into the universe even if no one sees your list but you. The energy that it takes to make this list begins a new pathway toward discovering what is important to you and  remembering what makes your heart joyful. And it puts you into momentum.

Keep moving. Review your list often. As you check off your accomplishments, enjoy the renewed energy and momentum. Take yet another step toward your dreams by adding items to your calendar. Schedule those appointments that keep you in good health. Schedule those daily and weekly tasks that make a difference over time. Dare I say, get moving, literally? You can't eat seven apples on Sunday and you can't exercise seven hours on Sunday to make up for a week of less than healthy choices. Make yourself important enough to schedule time for the things that really do add to your sense of health and well-being. Added to your calendar, in writing, they are more likely to get done.

As for the things we write down year after year that don't get done, ask yourself, “Is this still important to me?” Perhaps finances keep you from making these dreams come true. Perhaps you feel unsupported or simply overwhelmed. Sometimes it simply comes down to time. Whatever the reason, decide this year to make it important...or, remove it from your list. Yes, you read correctly. Take it off your list, set yourself free, no guilt. Maybe your needs have changed.

But if this thing, this missed promise to yourself, this possible dream continues to nag at you, then it is time to become courageous and take the first step, and then the second which might just be reaching out to someone else to coax or coach you. Think of it as catching the draft from a fast car. Ask for help from a friend, a colleague, a professional. There are many resources available and people who are skilled in assisting you to break down your goals into manageable parts. Some of them will sit by your side and walk you through the process if that is what you need.

Are you ready to reach for your dreams? No time like the present!

Wishing you all happy beginnings and a year of unsurpassed expectations.

Spring Into New Year's Action...begin right here, right now

Why wait for Spring to get started. If you are motivated and inspired, then why not start today?

One of my favorite movies is "Under the Tuscan Sun." The protagonist, Frances, has purchased a house in Tuscany and in a moment of panic and overwhelm she says, "The trick to overcoming buyer's remorse is to have a plan. Pick a room and make it yours." I do not have buyer's remorse, but I DO understand the feeling of overwhelm. Whether you feel a sense of dread over post holiday clean up, or feel overwhelm due to life changes, I propose that you pick a room or a space in your home that is not being used to its best ability and consider changing it to make it your own.

Whether you have 15 minutes or 15 hours at your disposal, there are small tasks and projects that will make a tangible difference to your comfort and use of your spaces. Take those increments of time and repeat often until you feel and see the change that make a difference to you. Block out time on your calendar and commit to creating an environment that works for your life as it is right here, right now.

First step is choosing one space or room in which to work your magic.  Let me share what I am doing in my own spaces in hopes that it will help you to visualize.  I found myself with New Year's Day completely open and at my disposal. I wandered through my house, room by room and found one space calling to me for change. The space felt heavy!  Despite pretty furniture and freshly painted walls, beautiful art and good lighting, it was missing something. And, I acknowledged that no one spends much time in this room. Even guests will gravitate to the family room, which although always a bit messy and dusty, has an air of comfort, a welcoming quality. My daughter weighed in on this and with her careful honesty shared her thoughts on what would make the unused room more inviting. Real estate is too valuable to sit empty as they say; so I listened with an open mind!

Step two is to move and use existing materials. I urge you not to rush out to bring more into this space. Live with it and look for things in other parts of your home that will make this newly repurposed space work even better. You probably have many treasures that make your heart sing.

Step three, keep only those things that bring a smile to your face, or serve the purpose you choose for this particular space. This goes beyond de-cluttering and cleaning. This is about creating a new energy in your surroundings. Remove unwanted items from the room. Period! These items go into one of three places, the garbage, the sharing pile, or the recycle pile. Do not bring them back into the room. If they belong somewhere else in the house, put them away! The space will begin to feel different, more open and lighter. At this point in the process, I like to sit for a minute and savor this feeling before moving on to the next steps.

Step four, look at the space from several angles while positioning the furniture. No one likes to sit facing away from the door or entry. I am currently working on the room that you enter from my front door. Adjusting the seating has already made a difference to how the room feels and I noticed that my son came in, sat, and chatted with me few times over the course of the afternoon. He had helped me schlepp the heavy pieces and is now a stakeholder in the success of this project.

Step five, finishing touches may include dusting and cleaning the floors and windows and  a little paint touchup on newly exposed walls or baseboards. No time like the present. And if you have put your label maker to good use, the paint cans in your garage will be easy to sort through and this little refresh will take but a few minutes. More on labeling later.

For now, Happy New Year and let's do it it with less stress.

Negative Space is Incredibly Positive...The Power of Pausing

There is power in pausing.

Pauses are as important in life as they are in art. Breathing, we inhale, and breathing, we exhale! Yet, sometimes we need reminding not to hold our breaths. Rushing around from thing to thing, we forget the importance of the pause. In life, as in art, the negative space is a critical piece of the whole. Just as the negative space defines the boundaries of the art composition and draws attention to it, and just as the silence in music, or the stillness in dance, draw attention, we are given the opportunity to pause and reflect and to give thanks in those moments. The art is richer, the dance more meaningful, the music more poignant.

As Thanksgiving approaches, it occurs to me that there is something rather special about this particular holiday. Despite, all of the frenzy and excitement looming in December, Thanksgiving is a day when most of us pause to enjoy our families and friends.

What if we were to take that idea and weave it into our daily lives...into our personal and work lives and into our personal and work spaces? What if we remembered to take small breaks to loosen tense shoulder muscles, to play with the dog, to look out the window, to sit with a cup of tea without multitasking? Would we get less done, and feel more behind? Or would we actually feel energized and more connected to ourselves and those around us? Would our experiences change, would our views broaden and our eyes see more? I say yes!

For me, decluttering is another form of pausing. Removing things that no longer suit me, no longer make me happy, or no longer serve a purpose, is mentally cleansing. It leaves a visual pause, or negative space in my surroundings, and has a calming effect on me. Clear your desk at the end of your work day and notice how this impacts you the next time you sit down to work there. Clear the clutter from your purse, your wallet, your car, and savor the emptiness.

Pause to reflect upon what you have accomplished today. If you were to make a list, you would be amazed at how many things you do every day. I am grateful that I can do so much for myself. Ask anyone who has been ill or recently injured, and they will tell you how much they have taken for granted.  I leave you with this thought. The pauses, or negative spaces in our lives, invite us to focus upon how we view our days, our accomplishments, ourselves, and for that I give thanks.

*photo of painting, "The Dance Examination," by Edgar Degas

Priorities and Peak Performance...timing is everything!

Prioritizing is a bit like eating a green frog, which, according to Mark Twain, is "best done first thing in the morning." That's fine if you are a morning person and tremendously disciplined. But, I have to wonder if Mark Twain was a morning person, because eating a green frog at any time of the day is challenging much less on an empty stomach.

I propose that tackling your priority, or your highest value task, at your peak performance time has the highest return of satisfaction in the least amount of time. And, that leaves you more time in your day to pause and reflect and smell the roses. But more on that later!

Scheduling my highest priority task in the morning is important because I AM a morning person. Putting off an important task until later in the day is a bit like hanging a 100 pound weight over my head by a tiny thread. It hovers and threatens and demands my attention. I have noticed that when I don't begin my work day with my highest value task, I am much less productive and easily distracted all day until I pause, focus my energy on the most important thing, and get it done. Once I follow my own advice everything else seems to fall into place.

But what if you work best later in the day? I ask you to seriously consider what times of the day you do your best work. Consider when your energy for tackling mental work is at its peak, and when your physical energy is at its peak.  Even when your most important task is something you are anticipating with great enthusiasm, it can be  difficult and actually take more time than allotted if scheduled during your lower peak times.

Breaking your projects down into tasks is an excellent beginning to organizing your time. It is equally important to plan your most difficult tasks when you have the mental and physical energy to match the task at hand. Once you have established your patterns for productivity, you can block out those times on your calendar using them for your most important tasks. Eventually this habit will become second nature and you will thank yourself daily. And, perhaps, you will even have a little time left to savor a few pages of a book at the end of your day!

Tasks vs. Projects...Making a list, and checking it twice

This is the time of year that people tend to feel an increase in stress. As much as we love the holidays, and family gatherings, and all of the merriment, we may find it difficult to get everything done. Our lists are longer than usual and intimidating at times.

According to David Allen, author of Getting Things Done, "...much of the stress that people feel doesn't come having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they start." I cringed when I first read this, because like so many people, I, too, get caught up in believing my stress comes from having too much to do. But after I thought about it, I concluded that I also say, "Yes!" when perhaps I should say, "Not this time!" or "Let me think about it and get back to you." AND, I hate to admit it... I don't always finish what I start.

By this, I mean, if my plan for the day includes a project, I am setting myself up for failure. This is true, not because I am incapable of completing an entire project, but rather because projects contain a broad range of tasks some of which may need to be spread out over days and weeks and months.

When the big picture is broken down into manageable tasks, I feel more in control of my days, and by extension more successful.  And I feel a sense of accomplishment and completion. By breaking down projects into tasks, I have learned to appreciate how much time it truly takes to do certain things and have become more reasonable in list making and prioritization of time. But, more on priorities later. 

For now, one strategy to reduce stress, is to know the difference between a project and a task.

 A project is a multi-step idea or commitment with a specific outcome. 

 A task is one step and can be time limited. 

For example, the tending of my gardening is an ongoing, project with tasks added frequently. My garden does not care that Thanksgiving is weeks away and that I have shopping and decorating and travel plans to arrange and pumpkin bread to make!

And, I am not overwhelmed by my garden this time of year, because I am patient with the process and know that time spent there helps me stay calm and centered during the holidays. And, yes, in Southern California, roses are still in bloom, so there is work to be done outside.

There are days when I feel more motivated by a time limit, and will make the task time sensitive, such as "15 minutes deadheading roses."

There are days that I have more flexibility in my schedule and may choose to "deadhead flower beds backyard" however long it takes me. But, my garden tasks will be on the same list as my holiday tasks and my work tasks and, well, you get the idea.

Take a good, hard look at what you are asking of yourself, and then review again. Take the projects on your list and break them down into one step tasks that can be put on your calendar.  Tasks WILL get done, and by extension, so will your projects!

Holiday Thing Management...making peace with your things requires a little courage and a little creativity

There are signs everywhere that the holidays are upon us. And, I LOVE it! But there is a real danger in becoming overwhelmed and overloaded by our THINGS, especially at this time of year!!! As all of the pretty ornaments and holiday themed decorations and wonderful specialty items go on display, we are tempted to throw caution to the wind and bring yet more into our homes, sometimes without thought as to where they will live for the other 11 months of the year, or whether we really even need them.

The need question is simple to answer. But there will be no judgement from me. I just spent an hour at Crate and Barrel sighing over this year's Christmas tree ornaments and even bought a few. What it is different for me this year, however, is that I have a plan and a place to keep them after the holidays.

Last year, I sorted through every box and bag of decorations that had collected over the years, and shed myself of quite a few things that I no longer really cherished or needed. There will be more of that as the boxes come out again this year and I will take another critical look and shed a few more things.

Here are a few ideas for keeping holiday thing management under control:

1. Share/give away/throw away one item for every item that you bring into your home...okay one for every two or three things if you have the storage space and are building your collection. But, be honest, be brave! And, remember that sharing is a blessing!

2. Consider Coco Chanel's motto of less is more and take the last item out of your cart and put it back onto the shelf.

3.  If a THING calls loudly to you, and won't stop, consider it for someone on your shopping list; wrap and label it for that person immediately so as to remove the temptation to keep it for yourself.

4. Decorate early in the season, savor the ambience longer, and move on to the other elements of the holiday that you enjoy!

5. Consider experiences as a part of your holiday to-do list: The Boat Parade of Lights, Christmas Card Lane,  a party or potluck with friends, a trip to Starbuck's on the first day that the red cups arrive! You get the idea. I celebrate Christmas; so am focused there. But the same encouragement holds true for Hanukkah or other Winter holidays and holds true for Thanksgiving and Halloween as well.

6. Find a buddy to make the task of sorting decorations more fun and then return the favor. Have lively music and delicious refreshments on hand.

7. As you sort through your boxes of holiday treasures and decorations, remember that gently used or never used items can be wrapped and given to toy drives and other charity events. Be creative and generous! And do it early in the season so that others have more time to savor their new treasures.

8. Finally, as you make your way through the holiday season, repeatedly ask yourself the tough questions: Why am I keeping this? Why am I buying this?

No, I don't need four plastic pumpkins for trick or treating.  My children no longer trick or treat. The flip side of this record is, yes, I DO need an extra string of lights. Do NOT wait until two weeks before Christmas and expect to find twinkle lights lining the shelves of your favorite stores.

Or, you could consider using fewer lights! For me, this is one place Coco and I disagree. More is more when it comes to twinkling lights in December! Just remember to consider where you will shelter them the remainder of the year.

Cheers!

Life Transitions...be not afraid of change; you might lose something good, but you might gain something better

Life transitions...they are a part of the human condition and of life in our modern world.

Changes of our choosing can be challenging and at the same time exciting and motivational as we anticipate the future. We delight in the possibilities and feel that butterfly tickle us deep in our guts telling us we are making a good decision! With happy heart we make our lists, gather our tools, and get started. Or we hire a productivity specialist to come in and help break down the big picture into manageable tasks. Lucky for me that is my specialty.

But then, there are those changes not of our choosing...unexpected, painful, confusing. I sit here not to tell you to cheer up and get back to work, but rather to pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself, that we are in good company as we navigate the trials and tribulations of life.

What once seemed so effortless, can feel insurmountable. I understand. I too am grieving for what I have lost and yet yearning for a contented future with a hopeful heart. Gather your dearest friends near and learn what soothes and feeds your soul. That is what I am doing... moving forward, awkwardly, tentatively, as if a toddler learning to walk for the first time. And, I am learning to appreciate and savor the now. Now is really all that we have.

Morose...I apologize. As organized as I am, I have somehow misplaced my sense of humor. Please let me know if you find it. It will be along side my battered heart.

And, in the meantime, I will share a few of my favorite strategies for getting unstuck and being happy!

1. Do something nice for yourself every day! That may or may not require retail therapy. However therapeutic shopping may be, there is a bill to be paid at the end of the month. Consider, instead, a stack of books begging for your attention, your favorite CD long forgotten, walk the dog a new direction and admire the changes taking place in the world around you.

2. If you live close to the beach, GO!!! The ocean is a magical, soothing place that should not be overlooked. There is something larger than you and I at work here and never so obvious to me as when I listen to waves crash repeatedly upon the shore, smell the sea mist and witness the beautiful changing sky and sea at sunset. If you don't have the ocean, then find a park, a garden, a piece of nature. She is there to bring you back to your spiritual self.

3. Do one thing each day that moves you toward your most important goals. And, if you don't have goals, then making a list of everything that pops into your head, and build your list from there.

4. If you still cannot breathe, cannot move, cannot eat...find a confidant who will leave fruit in a bowl at the table for you, someone who will notice that you need a hug, and let your friends envelop you with their kindness. I am certain that you have done the same things for others when you felt whole. Being cared for is a blessing for both the giver and the receiver!

Peace my friends...change is an opportunity for growth.

October...anticipating the holidays with a happy heart and clean windows

I LOVE this time of year! The evenings are cool and the leaves are falling from my birch trees.

I'm  not sure how much my neighbors appreciate the leaves that blow their way, but these are signs that some of my favorite holidays are approaching. I have yet to make my lists. I am pausing first to reflect upon what is truly important to me. And, I have chosen to treat myself to something simple.

This year, I am beginning the season with clean windows. Yes, you read correctly! There is something wonderful about having squeaky clean windows. Turns out...again...that mom was right! I have a lovely view from my back windows and expect to see even more of it through clean glass.

Whatever is it that lightens your load a little bit before the holiday madness begins, consider it for yourself. Be prepared to enjoy the rush headlong into the fray from October to January.

Clean carpets

Polish floors

Clean gutters

Fill the bird feeders...but be prepared to repeat frequently!

And then sit with a cup of tea near your favorite window, make your lists and hang on to your hat!!